Phrases I'm Tired of Hearing

In the job hunt, the phrase I'm seeking, the only one that ultimately matters, is "yes." As in: Yes, we want to interview you. And hopefully soon after: Yes, we want to hire you. 

While searching for a full-time, permanent job, the coveted yes can be elusive. While speaking to distant family members, friends of friends or The Employed about the fact that a job is no where to be found, most people aren't terribly good at assuaging these fears of being un- or underemployed forever. What I have heard with increasing frequency are phrases that are meant to be comforting or helpful, but end up being just plain annoying. 

• "Oh, you'll find something." Presumably meant to be encouraging. It's really dismissive. Like securing a job is as easy as bending over and picking up a pen you dropped. Or as easy as a stroll through the park and finding a bench to sit on for a minute. Either it's not that easy or I'm going about the job hunt in REALLY the wrong way. The result: I'm discouraged.


• "You don't have enough experience." I'm applying for entry-level jobs, of course I don't have a substantial amount of paid experience! So the conundrum becomes this: how am I supposed to gain experience if no one will hire me and put me in the position to earn experience? It's too late for internships, and volunteering doesn't pay any bills.


• "What about [career in healthcare]?"* Just because I'm female, that does NOT mean I have a yearning to be a nurse! At this point in my life I have already discovered that nursing is a potential career and I have ruled it out. If I wanted to be a nurse, I would not have majored in Liberal Arts.


• "Just keep plugging away." Advice given by people who don't have any other advice.


• "Most people don't end up in the career they originally intended." I think this is supposed to be comforting, and the take-away is to just get your foot in the door anywhere and then move around from there.

 As a female, when sharing my fears and frustrations with others, all I want to hear is confirmation from the other person that they heard me and understand how I feel. When I get one of these phrases instead (the unsolicited and unhelpful advice) I'm doubly annoyed: they didn't validate my feelings and they gave me useless garbage disguised as wisdom. Instead of these phrases, I'd rather hear a simple "yeah it's tough" and "good luck" couldn't hurt either. 

What phrase in your job search would you never like to hear again and what would you rather hear instead? 

(This was written while I was still searching for full-time employment and I hadn't narrowed down what job I wanted. In my aimless (and hence fruitless) search for a job, I found myself complaining that no one wanted to hire me and sharing with anyone who would stand still long enough how unhappy I was that I couldn't find a worthy job to apply for. This is not intended to give practical advice on how to behave while searching for a job (such as decide exactly what you want) but is simply intended to share my annoyance at hearing the same unhelpful phrases over and over. The third one(*) is the only one that gives a concrete suggestion, but it's still tiring to hear again and again and again.)

What is Your Mantra?

A Google search of the definition of "mantra" shows: 1. A word or sound repeated to aid concentration in meditation. 2. A statement that is frequently repeated; a characteristic formula or refrain. Mantras are a tool that, at the very basic level serve as a reminder and at a philosophical level, can be used to channel energy. Read More.

I recently decided that I needed something to look at and repeat to myself when I needed a little kick in the pants; a phrase to remind me to kick some butt and get off my duff and JUST DO IT! My mantra? BE UNSTOPPABLE.

I am the type of person who needs someone to check up on my progress and hold me accountable. When there isn't anyone to motivate me, my mantra will be my own little way of telling myself that there will be a payoff later if I can work hard now. Specifically, when I find myself getting bogged down in the dreaded and tedious parts of my job search (like making phone calls or crafting the "perfect" cover letter).

Do you have a mantra? What is it and how does it help you?

What is your Passion?

Lately I've been reading a lot of books about success and how to achieve it, hoping to kick start my life as an independent adult. Something that keeps coming up again and again is the notion that passion is the key element in a person's success. The book I have yet to find is the one that tells me how to identify my passion! It feels kind of stupid to admit that, but I feel like these books are all missing a chapter in front about to hone in on the key to my future happiness.

I think it makes sense that behind every millionaire, mogul or entrepreneur is a driving force, something that lights their fire, makes them get up every morning, work hard all day long and go to bed late, ready for it to be morning again so they can keep doing their thing. I get it. I know that when I find whatever it is that I can talk about all day, the thing that I love, my passion, once I find that my life will have the potential to go where ever I want to take it.

I'm jealous of the people who were born knowing what it is they are meant to do in life. They've got that something inside of them that just makes sense for them to work for or to strive after. As for me, I just followed the unspoken plan of what was expected of me; I went to school and had perfect attendance. I joined clubs, became a leader, applied for college and attended my state university. There, things got a little more vague. I remained undeclared for as long as possible, trying out every major I thought I might be interested in. I finally chose one, but I slogged thru my classes, clearly not passionate about it. I graduated uncertain of what to do next and no one told me what to do!

I went home and sat by the mailbox waiting for my life road map to appear or for divine inspiration to strike me. The next park of my life's plan was simply "get a job." But... what? how? where??? I wish there was a formula that said, here fill in the blanks, do this, this and this, calculate this and KABLAMO: here is your passion. I almost wish there was just someone who would say to me, "you know X is what you should do, you really want to do X with your life." And that would take all the mystery, confusion and uncertainty out of the next step.

Right now, all I really don't want to do is fail. I'm terrified to choose wrong and be a big fat failure, destitute, alone, sad and unable to recover. So tell me this and maybe it will help me: What is YOUR passion?

Things I Make

Forever 21 has a lot of skirts.... their measurements are about 14" to 18" long (from waist to hem) with the waistband measurement ranging from 20" to 30". The skirts I make look like this.

I also make scarves...

I've made some earrings before and some other jewelry (necklaces and a few bracelets). I've got some of that clear stretchy thread for more bracelets... and you know I have a TON of buttons from work.

What kind of crafts do you like to make?